COACHING: The Reasons Why Our Reality Is 100% Subjective In Every Aspect of Our Lives

This is a personal development article. Not Marketing. Not Entrepreneurship. I wrote
this for several people. OK, is no news to anyone that many times we let a few “universal
truths” take over our minds and dictate how our lives are lived and on what pace. We limit
ourselves somehow while saying things such as “That is impossible to do”, “Now that this
happened, I can’t continue my business anymore”, “This physical injury has now destroyed
my career in sports for life”, “I’ll have to study 5 years prior to opening this kind of
company” etc.

But the majority of these thoughts are all lies.
Complete BS. Because we let the same mental rules that mediocre people live by, poison
our minds and redefine the “right path to win” in life. We let negativity take over. We let
negativity take mental space. We let negativity take FORM and dominate.

The result: We let these thoughts built a reality for ourselves by letting certain thoughts
take over our minds, leaving us with no hope whatsoever or no faith in a drastic change in
life.

The reality we have is “final”.
All rules are set and it’s all the ultimate truth. Right?

No. Totally wrong.

I want to change your mindset now.
This article was made to PROVE that “Reality” is purely SUBJECTIVE because you’re the
one who invents and builds your own reality that you live by every single day. If you had
just woke up from a coma and I had told you that you were a marine, do you think you
would act differently than a marine? Do you think you would respond that much to fear or
even physical pain?

Think about that for a second.
So as you may have noticed, the mind has more power than you think. But many create
their own dark mental zone by believing in a few “false truths”, letting bad thoughts KILL
any possibility for them to take life-changing actions and decisions, which ends up
shielding themselves from success in life, business, love and all other areas.

Because for 90% of the World, the “Ultimate Truths” they constantly keep telling
themselves is the EXACT reason why they’re where they are today. Completely clueless.
Entirely hopeless. And therefore, totally unhappy trying to find a way out.

They allow a false reality BECOME their reality.
Yes, the mind is powerful.

So let’s deconstruct the concept of “REALITY” and its meaning in life now. Because from
what I’m being asked by a few friends and customers lately, I believe I’m in debt to people
regarding this subject. So I’ll introduce a mental rule that made me grow very quickly in life
and especially in business, and that without it, I wouldn’t have evolved as fast as I did,
personally and professionally.

Learn this mental concept and the best is yet to come for you, my friend.
Let’s open with a tricky question.

QUESTION: WHAT’S THE ACTUAL KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL LIFE?
Let me answer this very fast right away: The right line of thinking. Period. That’s the key to
getting to that dreamy stage in life, that ultimate success in marriage, business, family,
sports etc. How you think matters, we all know that. So if you REALLY pay attention to
why winners are winners in contrast with why losers are losers, you’ll only see one
difference: Winners think differently.

Problems? Everybody got problems.
Talents? Everybody got talents.
Limitations? Everybody got limitations.

There’s no difference, except for how the mind works.
That’s what defines whether a person becomes a winner or not.
Because the mind is a place where everything you put inside of it and nurture, you make it
take form, transforming it into your reality no matter what your current living at the moment
in real life.

The mind rules your body, your actions, your responses, your emotions and especially
your reality. What you decide in your head is what counts, and not what actually surrounds
you.

Can you imagine the first bodybuilder ever who started to lift weights? He surely
experienced unusual physical pain, over and over, just by exploring weight lifting and
thinking outside of the box. But he stuck to it.

Why?
Because in HIS MIND, “pain was good”.
Pain was a path to evolution. Pain was a natural process for growth.
Pain was more health in that case. But you can bet weak-minded people from those days
would definitely beg to differ.

Nevertheless, he shaped his reality in one seemingly contradictory thought: “I believe pain
is good”. THAT was what allowed him to build muscles, improve stamina, maximize health,
block heart problems etc. If he hadn’t believed that, if he hadn’t BUILT his own reality
using this central thought then all of us wouldn’t be lifting weights today at the gym.

So, remember:

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE WINNER AND THE LOSER IS ONLY
A LINE OF THINKING

Why do you think all Entrepreneurs have their own motivational quotes?
Because all the success these Entrepreneurs now experience, can all be resumed into a
few simple thoughts that shaped their reality back when they were living difficult times. The
“world” they decided to live in when going through a storm was a world created by them,
not circumstances.

The definition of one’s Reality is actually a very weak thing and you can build a totally
different one just by changing thinking patterns. And change it overnight.

I’ll deconstruct this now.

A FEW EXAMPLES OF DIFFERENT MENTAL REALITIES
Alright, “it’s easier said than done”. That may be your words to me while reading this so far
and I don’t blame you, because if you go a few years back, I was more consumed with
negativity myself. Even nowadays, as an Entrepreneur, I still experience negative thoughts
sometimes because we can’t be 100% positive ALL THE TIME.

The difference is that poisonous thoughts today stand almost no chance against my
current hunger for winning. I reframe my reality whenever I need to. “But don’t you have
problems now Peterson?”. Yes, of course. We all experience problems and setbacks in life
but we can train ourselves mentally to suppress all of them by changing our focus.
OK. But let’s take a look at how reality ACTUALLY works.

And let’s also see what effort is involved to CHANGE one’s reality in life as well. This will
be a simple example but that will open your eyes permanently.

EXAMPLE #1: THE SHY GUY vs THE EXTROVERT GUY
The first example is one of my favorites, so here it goes.
Assume there’s a party your company is promoting on the weekend.
Now assume that two coworkers were invited to attend this party. One employee is a
tremendously shy guy whilst the other is completely the opposite, a totally extrovert guy.

So when both are about to get into the party, this is what their thoughts will be:

SHY GUY: “Oh man….I’m so scared. Lots of people. Women. I’ll definitely embarrass
myself there. I should lay low and wait for its end until I can go home.”

EXTROVERT GUY: “Awesome!!! This party will be GREAT! Lots of people! WOMEN! I’ll
definitely meet new people and have tons of fun while I’m there, and I’ll probably go home
by tomorrow.”

Interesting, right? Because the party is the same for both.
Same environment. Same people. Same drinks. Same food. Same everything.
But both create a totally different reality around it. See how powerful the mind is?

Let’s take another practical example.

EXAMPLE #2: THE CONFIDENT ENTREPRENEUR vs THE CIRCUMSTANTIAL ENTREPRENEUR
Many entrepreneurs at the early stage of business let themselves get caught by the
influences of a few adversities, while others don’t really care about what’s happening to
them and just keep going.

For example, assume two entrepreneurs have a great business on which they’re working
on for almost 2 years. They made some money. And they achieved a certain level of
success. But things start to get financially ugly for both of them and this is where you see
winners arise.

The confident entrepreneur doesn’t change his posture, his way to deal with
prospects/partners, nor his pricing due to the financial crisis. He just stays the same. He
acts the same. He stays sharp. He keeps doing his work regardless of the situation. Why?
Because he doesn’t let a bank account redefine his value nor the quality of his business.

His line of thinking is usually this: “I’m too strong. This is why all these problems are
coming my way trying to stop me, but they won’t take anything away from me because I’m
harder than all life problems together. There’s no stopping me from getting my success. A
few digits in a bank account can’t define my value nor my business. I define them.”

The circumstantial entrepreneur on the other hand, instantly thinks: “Man….I’m running out
of money. I think I shouldn’t be doing this. I must be a bit more factual here and start
listening to all the signs and change my course quickly, or I’ll lose for good. I guess my
dream was just not possible anyway, unfortunately. Maybe I should lower my prices or sell
something easier to sell, just to make some money and leave this dream behind because
things have changed.”

Totally different realities. Totally different minds.
So what I’m trying to prove here is that if even Elon musk had to borrow money to pay rent
already as a millionaire, then the meaning of “millionaire” doesn’t actually define a person
as a successful one. A weak mind would think in Musk’s case: “I’m such a loser. I’m
already a millionaire and yet I can’t pay rent.”. But for truly confident entrepreneurs, it’s just
money. It’s only a TOOL. It’s means to and end and nothing else. The reality is that a
“great man” is going through a hardcore battle instead of being a “loser who lost millions
and can’t pay rent”. See the difference?

The strong minds understand this principle and don’t let anything change their own reality
because after all, every person will experience a financial crisis at least once in their lives.
No one is invincible. You can’t control everything in life and some events, like political
ones, may hurt your finances indirectly. So why would you lower your own value just
because things got a bit difficult? Makes no sense.

Many problems we maximize its magnitude in our minds.
Many problems we CREATE in our own minds and bring them to life.
But now the good news.

Just like we can create them, we can also destroy them.
And the level of EFFORT necessary to change our reality is simple: replace and change
our line of thinking. Yes, is that simple. Now read the next words to completely understand.

THE REALITY CONSTRUCTION PRINCIPLE
Reshaping reality is not a magical technique that few can apply, no. It only depends of two
core things: Testimonials and Courage. That’s all. Testimonials give you a powerful faith
boost since it forces you to compare yourself with those who have already won and fought
the same problems you’re now facing.

TESTIMONIALS reinforce that someone else has already been through
this and is now OK. It’s a role model to follow. A successful story you can use as a
reference for hard times.

COURAGE, on the other hand, reinforces your side of the story. It reinforces a
reality your mind created because it demands action from you, such as putting your idea
into practice and sticking to it. Courage is what in the end separates winners from losers
because it concretizes thoughts and ideas in the real world.

A broke business owner may have to put his money into his business, risking to lose it all
but choosing to believe that the company will take off eventually and that the current
revenue doesn’t reflect the business’ value. This is a simple example of how courage can
reframe reality. Because the moment you believe in a certain line of thinking by sticking to
it and putting it into practice, things change. Reality changes.

Now one more thing.
The three-question filter you can use that will help you reframe reality:

• QUESTION #1: IS THIS SOMETHING SOMEONE ELSE HAS EXPERIENCED BEFORE IN LIFE AND STILL WAS ABLE TO COME OUT AS A WINNER? — If other people have endured the pain you’re now living, then you an be certain that your situation isn’t final. This is why having several role models, reading lots of books and expanding your knowledge of other people’s lives will help you tremendously, because by doing so, you’re always filling your mind with HARD FACTS that reinforces that winning in your current situation is possible. Because if others have won before, then you can win now as well.
• QUESTION #2: IS YOUR CURRENT SITUATION A CHALLENGE? IF YOU FIND A WAY OUT OF IT WILL PEOPLE ADMIRE YOU IN THE END? — Everybody loves a good challenge. Challenge incites good pride and good pride usually brings your warrior mindset to the surface when an adversity seems impossible to beat. But it is exactly in cases like yours, in cases where everything seems too hard to overcome that Best Selling authors are born, that champions get to the next level, that people learn new hidden skills they weren’t aware of, etc. When difficult times in life dominate, then it means that you actually have a challenge in front of you. And once that challenge gets beaten, it will likely inspire others. Because your current reality is just a challenge. A game. You just need to know what’s THE NEXT right step to take whenever you face problems.
• QUESTION #3: HAVE YOU LEARNED, TRIED AND EXPLORED DIFFERENT THINGS IN LIFE? — You cannot insist on the same strategies and tactics over and over and still expect to get different results. If your current way of living is getting you nowhere, it’s time to make some changes. You need to explore. You need to go out of your comfort zone. You need to learn something new and risk different options because that’s where your door to the next level of your life may be. That’s where your new reality will be. Concretize your good thoughts and remember: The focus is on YOU, not the circumstances. Find the right answer in your mind, transform it into action and see everything change around you.

Think with me for a moment.
A BROKE entrepreneur is not someone who is currently out of money.
A broke entrepreneur is someone who somehow forgot all his entrepreneurial experiences
and all knowledge he got from books.

Because with knowledge you can build several successful businesses out of thin air, but
with a limited amount of money and no knowledge at all, you can only replicate a limited
amount of businesses that were copied from someone else.

So building a business with no money can be a reality centered on A CHALLENGE which
can lead to massive success because you’ll be able to teach other people in the future
how to do the same, for example.

Makes sense?

Same goes to a shy person who understands that all rejection and fear are just part of a
game that has these challenge levels waiting to be beaten. So as long as you realize that
EVERY problem you experience in life is an opportunity to self-improvement, a landmark
in problem mastery, then your reality will always look like a video game to you. Most bad
experiences and difficult times you’ll face as if it all were just another stage in a game, with
a new boss and everything, and that’s it.

The power of the mind can change the quality of a life.

Let’s picture the following for a second: Imagine yourself putting on paper every good
and bad thought you produced in life right after leaving this world. Now imagine how many
of these bad thoughts actually were true or became true in life. Would you agree that at
least 70% of them were all made up by your own mind? Maybe more? How many useless,
fear-based thoughts did you have? Well, could you imagine how life would have been for
you if you had chosen to take that 70 % of bad thoughts and produce only good thoughts
instead?

You would never know.

Because we all know we are too anxious about everything and we maximize our problems,
most of the times. There’s no denying it. We produce negativity and suffer for no reason
whatsoever because a good share of our anxious thoughts never comes to life anyway.
So if you master your mind by choosing the right thoughts and use them to reframe all
kinds of bad moments, then you’ll be able to enjoy life with more ease. You can have more
business connections. You can explore creativity better. You can make more friends and
spent more quality time with your family. And you can be definitely minimize problems and
shrink failure.

CONCLUSION: DEFINE YOUR REALITY YOURSELF
Remember: Circumstances NEVER define a person. Never. A poor man can become rich.
A sick man can become healthy. A traumatized person can forget the past and live a new
future. Everything can have a solution and a new beginning because it is your mind that
chooses what to believe, what thoughts to take seriously and what kind of world to create.

You define your reality.
What you’re living right now, what you’re feeling right now, is a product of the choices your
mind constantly makes and has made in the past. Is that simple.

Want to change your reality?
Then change the thoughts that populate your mind.
Remember that we are not eternal here on Earth. You have a limited amount of time that
was given to you, so make sure you make the right choices.

And it all starts with the mind.
Take care.